I remember...

Today my workplace held an assembly to commemorate the 6th anniversary of the deaths of those who died on September 11th. Several of us were asked to share our memories of that day, based on the prompt "I remember". Here's mine:

I was working as a librarian at a university in North Carolina in 2001. On the morning of September 11th, one of my colleagues told me that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center and that authorities thought that it was a terrorist attack. I remember so clearly saying, “What? How ridiculous. It’s tragic enough as it is, why would people SAY that?”

About a half an hour later, CNN’s website reported the second plane crash, and the fact that it was deliberate was obvious. I remember calling my parents, just wanting to hear their voices. I remember doing what I always do when something bad happens: finding ways to distract myself from the sheer horror of it all. I asked my boss for permission to set up televisions throughout the library so that our community could keep informed. All of the big news websites were crashing under so much traffic, and I sought out alternative sites that had begun posting updates, and I sent these to faculty.

I remember at the end of the day how I wanted a mocha, and I remember thinking, “How can I possibly want a mocha? How shallow am I? What is wrong with me?” It wouldn’t be until months later that I’d realize that it hadn’t been the mocha I’d wanted at all: what I’d wanted was to do something normal and mundane. I’d wanted to be around people, not alone in my apartment with CNN.

Finally, though, I WAS alone in my apartment, watching the towers crash over and over, listening to the sounds of screams and sirens, and I started to cry. I cried until I threw up, until the only thing left inside of me was grief.

I share this with you not because I think it's particularly well-written, but because I want to mark this grim date here on my blog, which has become important to me. I want to actively remember those who have died and continually remember their families.

This is not a political blog and I don't intend to make it so. I honestly don't even like discussing politics because I'm on the other side of the fence from too many people that I love, and I don't like arguing with them. I just wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts and feelings.

Thanks for reading,
Kimberley