What to do, what to do....

So.

It's hard to know where to begin (yes, it's going to be that kind of post),





but I want to start with my blessings.

• Chris


• a great family-- supportive, loving, fun, and all kinds of other groovy stuff. All the good things that I am come from them.


• truly excellent friends


• good health


• a job that I know some people would kill for-- I'm well-paid for my field, generally appreciated, given the freedom to have ideas and go with them. Heck, in these times, just having ANY job is a blessing, much less one like mine.


• a house with a mortgage that we can afford

And yet...

Sometimes I am swept with this incredibly claustrophic feeling, like I just can't breathe and that spark of what makes me ME is being smothered.

Melodramatic enough for ya?

This feeling mostly has to do with living in Atlanta. There's a great quote from Loreena McKennitt that I have posted on my office door:

"In the same way that I try to lead my life with few expectations,
I try to live it with no regret, and also no wishing that I was some other place".

I've really tried to embrace Loreena's way of thinking, and have tried to build community here and make Atlanta home. Here's a list:

• I got involved with our neighborhood association, even becoming Vice President. Let's just not go into that, shall we?


• Chris and I established our annual Halloween Party, and it's an event to which not only we look forward, but also our friends and colleagues.


• We've (sort of) started a monthly potluck at Tallulah House


• We've worked to make Tallulah House our tiny, little fortress where we feel safe and at peace. Thanks to family and the help they've given us, we've largely succeeded. Sure, there'll always be projects to do, but I'm at the point where I feel that we've made a good start on ensuring that Tallulah will be around for another 60 years.


• I threw myself into the life of my workplace, and got heavily involved in professional organizations, eventually becoming president of a state organization and being asked to join the board of a national organization. I've mentored interns and others in my field. I've presented at conferences and incorporated technology in our daily professional life.
  

But...

Even my little Tallulah House isn't worth what it takes to live in Atlanta anymore. This is my fifth year here, and I am so completely over the traffic, the pollution, the commonly-held belief that God wants you to drive an SUV, the traffic, the rudeness, the expense, etc, etc.

I'm just so tired of it all.

So where do I want to live? Well, it looks something like this:

• closer to family


• in the mountains, or close to

(Okay, these mountains are in China, but you get the idea)

• big enough to be diverse and interesting, small enough to feel like home


• affordable enough that we can have a house with two bathrooms


• a community commited to sustainability


• little traffic

I know, I know. Dream on.

Oh, and of course to go along with all of this angst is a massive load of guilt. I mean, hey, genocide in Rwanda, starvation the world over, honour killings, homelessness down the street from me, child slaves, child soldiers, old people stuck in nursing homes and then happily forgotten by their families-- just thinking about it all leaves me disgusted with myself and my pathetic concerns, and knowing that I'm completely undeserving of all those blessings.

Well, then, glad I could cheer you up! I'm sure you'll stop by again soon for another episode of "Poor, pitiful Kimberley". I have no doubt that I'm going to win the "Most Uplifting Blog" award.

I'll leave you with a quote that I actually DO like ;)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -- Gandhi